A Memorial Speech For My Dad

On behalf of my family, I would like to express our deepest gratitude to those who attended my father’s funeral on June 18, 2024. Also, we’d like to say thank you to all those who donated to funeral costs via https://everloved.com/life-of/tom-begay/

What follows is what I wrote and shared at my father’s memorial service:

Part of remembrance is sharing stories of the people we have lost but who are not forgotten. There are many stories I could share about my father, but I’ve decided to share just a few that revealed who my father was.

He was a music fan. I can remember as a child riding in the truck with my dad and brother, Sheldon. Driving on dusty reservation roads to find medicine or collect wood. Dad would sing in unison with the musical artist’s words:

🎶 If you told me that you love me, I would feel so proud. If you let me hold you honey, I’d holler out loud. I’ll never love another even if I can oh come to me baby, I’m a one-woman man 🎵

If you know that song, then you must be very experienced in life, so please don’t forget your annual checkup. It is very important at your age.  

Beginning in verse 1 we are going to read through the whole chapter of Psalm 19

The first four verses have become my favorite verses of Psalm 19. It can used as a meditation or read when life is going too fast. In our world today it is difficult to be still, to rest and reflect. The writer of this psalm I believe meditated daily. I can imagine the writer going outside at noon every day, to lie down or sit on the grass (or dirt), and stare into the heavens. His gaze towards the heavens leads him to decipher the knowledge being spoken above. The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

But in our world today we are just too busy to stand still, to listen, and to look up. There just never seems to be enough time in a day to get our to-do lists done. And, every day our list seems to grow longer and longer.

Not having enough time to get it all done only leads to stress, anger, resentment, sadness, over-work, and anxiety. In a 2017 study, the research showed that the top causes of stress in America were money (64%), work (60%), family responsibilities (47%), and personal health problems (46%) (https://www.singlecare.com/blog/news/stress-statistics).

Most of us here can attest to these statistics, right. Even now, many of you are probably thinking about what you’re going to do after the service. Thinking about the errands you must do. The bills that still need to get paid. The work you forgot to do this week. Don’t worry I am not long-winded, and I am almost done.

So then where is hope? Let me re-read my dad’s favorite bible verse found in John 14.6: Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

The Psalmist had to look to creation, to the sky, to the heavens to unlock the mystery of the world and its maker. But, Jesus, when he came, he spoke plainly about God and the mysteries of the world. Jesus even so far as to say I am the way, the truth, and the life.

The way back into a right relationship and right relatedness to God is through Jesus. He proclaims he is the way back to God. Jesus is truth, and he spoke those truths some two thousand years ago and even today through the bible. He is also the life, the true, eternal life.

My good friend, speaker, activist, preacher, his name is Mark Charles. Many of you might have heard of him, read his book Unsettling Truths, or follow him on social media. Mark is the kind of guy who when he’s into something, he really goes all in. Lately, it’s been running. On his podcast, he recounts how he never ran but has taken it up as a hobby. Now, he talks about those shoes that look like toes.

Anyway, for a while and still sometimes today he will go out early in the morning to greet the sun. Sometimes he goes live on Instagram and take his followers with him to greet the sun. This is a practice he learned and did while he lived on the Navajo reservation some twenty years ago. It is important to wake up early and run towards the rising sun.

After Mark did this for a while Mark discovered that the Creator speaks to us in and through creation just as Psalmist said, the skies proclaim work of his hands. So, one morning not too long ago I went outside to take out the trash and saw the sun rising. Phone cameras don’t do justice to the brilliance of what I saw, but it comes close.  

I discovered what Mark had been talking about. As I stood outside, garbage bag in hand, I felt small all the sudden. I began to reflect on how I have little to no control in this world. I can’t stop the sun from rising, I can’t make the clouds move aside, I can’t make the wind go a different direction. And it made me realize that it is the Creator who holds all things together.

I can relax as the master of the universe (anyone recognized the references?). In my reflection, I also realized I can just relax. There’s not much I can do change anything except to stare into the heavens made by a scared Creator and enjoy it.

As I reflect further on what I saw I began to wonder if this is the reason why God sent Jesus to the world, because no one was listening. No one was looking to the heavens anymore. Nobody saw the skies that proclaim the work of Creator’s hand. Everyone was too busy to see how beautiful and majestic the world is and who was behind all of it.

So, God sent his son, Jesus to the world to speak truth to the world because everyone was too busy. Jesus came and spoke plainly to them about God, performed miracles, fed the hungry, helped the poor, and casted out demons. But he also made enemies who got him arrested, tried in a mock trial, and sentenced to death as a criminal.

Even when Creator’s own son came few listened and even fewer understood. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. He performed the final ceremony that cleanses our bad hearts as the First Nations Version would say it. He is the way back to Creator and he offers a new way, the good road that leads to truth and life.

So, in closing I urge everyone to take time, whether today or this weekend to be still, to listen, to look up, and listen to what creation says about the Creator. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge.

We must also take time to be with family. I am very glad I did that a few months when I went home for a dinner with my family on the rez. Because that is what we do, we feast, for any and everything.

At this one dinner, I took that time to sit down with my dad for our very last meaningful conversation. I had been working on my dissertation for quite some time and was always skeptical about my knowledge of Navajo things. So, I printed out a chapter from my paper entitled A Navajo Generational Theory. I sat down by dad who loved to sit on his big chair in the living room.

I asked him if he could look at my chapter. He took the paper and began to thumb through the pages. He studied the diagrams intently. Once he went through it, he began to explain the diagrams to me further. He knew everything I had written and created that I learned and understood mostly from books about Navajo philosophy, concepts, and teachings.

What made this conversation special was he did it all in Navajo. I am not fluent in my language, but I did attain a modicum of proficiency when I learned about some of the teachings. I was amazed at how I understood everything he was saying. He still had much to teach, and I am thankful he took time to help me.

A’héé’héé